BCS Declares Germany the Winner of WWII

For more information about this surprising decision click here.

The 5 Evilest Teams In Sports

OK maybe evil is a little strong, but whenever these teams step on the field/court I have to root against them. Unless they were playing Al-Qaeda or Neo-Nazi's I would root for a tie. 

Oklahoma Sooners- OK I'm a UT fan, but lets be honest they're called the Sooners. Sooners are settlers who entered the Unassigned Lands before President Grover Cleevland officially declared them for settlement in 1889. In other words, they are cheaters. 

San Antonio Spurs- Despite them being the closest professional sports team to me, they still have the most annoying player in basketball, Manu Ginobli. Plus they're just boring to watch. But I do give my respects to Greg Popovich and Tim Duncan. 

Miami Dolphins- Damn it, why couldn't they go 0-16 last year. And I'm tired of seeing Bob Griese and the rest of the '72 Dolphins celebrate every year they stay the only undefeated team in the history of the NFL. At least they haven't won a championship since 1973.

New York  Yankees- Hank Steinbrenner, case closed.

Boston Celtics- My disdain for this team is fairly recent due to their whooping of my Lakers in last years NBA Finals. Plus for whatever reason, I don't like Paul Pierce. 

45-35

I only have one thing to say about Texas getting passed up by Oklahoma in the BCS:

If winning in a head to head match up on a neutral site isn't the best way to judge a team being superior to another, then I don't know what is.  

All-Time Starting 5

Magic Johnson (PG)- His accomplishments alone make this argument easy: 5-time NBA champion, 3-time MVP, and 9-time NBA First Team. Not to mention at 6-9 he is the tallest point guard in history.

Michael Jordan (SG)- In my opinion, the greatest champion in league history with 6 rings, 5 MVPs, and averaged 30 points a game for his career. MJ is king.

Larry Bird (SF)- If your team needs a steal, point, rebound, or whatever, Bird will give it to you.

Hakeem Olajuwon (PF)- the most artful and fluent big man ever, watching Hakeem was a dream.

Shaquillle O'Neal (C)- In his prime, nobody could stop the Big Aristotle.

NBA Weak Rankings

1. Oklahoma City Thunder- The new change of scenery doesn't seem to help Kevin Durant and Co. At 1-15, the Thunder are painfully waiting for the offseason.

2. Washington Wizards- Still waiting for Agent Zero to recover, they still made the playoffs last year without him. So what is the deal Washington?

3. LA Clippers- A team who is very familiar with this list, if only they could of kept Elton Brand in the offseason.

4. Minnesota Timberwolves- Their roster seems to have every NCAA All-American from the past 4 years. But I guess when your veteran is Mark Madsen, then you may have problems.

5. Memphis Grizzlies- I predict they will play better as the season goes on.

NBA Power Rankings

1. LA Lakers- Of course, at 12-1 the Lakers are the deepest team in the NBA having 7 players average over 9 points a game this season. Oh yeah, they have been beating their opponents by an average of 15 points a game. 

2. Boston Celtics- The defending champs have cruised through the first 16 games of the year and their defense and physical presence may bring them another title this year.

3. Cleveland Cavaliers- Formarly the Cadavers, Cleveland is off to the best start that I can remember mostly in thanks to a certain King James.

4. Houston Rockets- With the addition of Ron Artest and a healthy Yao, they may actually get out of the first round this year.

5. Phoenix Suns- This team has way to much talent to just fade away, but they still have to show me more to believe. 

BCS

Why does College Football feel the need to embark so much stress on its fans? 

As a lifelong UT football fan, I am happy Texas moved up to No. 2 in the BCS rankings. But for the past few weeks I have been losing to much sleep and hair due to worrying whether or not my Horns are going to make it into the championship game. 

Who in the world thought of the BCS? 

Was he trying to be cool and different making Division I College Football the only major team sport without a playoff system. Hell, even Division II and III college football has a playoff system. I mean isn't the whole purpose to find a national champion. But the BCS often has split champions. Something that never happens in pro and other college sports. 

Why does College Football alienate its primary consumers (the fans)?

Ever since I can remember fans have been begging for a playoff system. The BCS only seems concerned with its sponsors and not with its fans. But luckily for College Football, their sport is football meaning they shouldn't worry to much about losing viewership. But why must they disappoint so many fans when their team unfairly doesn't make the championship game?

The Greatest Pick Up Line Ever

Being able to come up with a completely original and ingenious pick up line is an art form that many men wish to possess. Kansas City running-back Larry Johnson is one who has certainly mastered this art, and is an inspiration to men everywhere. 

Well here on my blog, I will expose Mr. Johnson's full proof scheme to pick up women. Men if you follow these simple steps I will promise you that no woman would be able to resist you.

1. Buy a drink

2. Put the drink stalled in your mouth

3. Find an attractive woman

4. Spit the drink all over her face

5. Then to really hook her, yell "I'm going to kill your boyfriend!"

With this ultimate act of courtesy, she will undoubtedly see you as a fine gentlemen and at the very least will give you her phone number. Or in Mr. Johnson's case, a law suit. 

Lakers: 83-0

As the only Los Angeles Lakers fan in Texas, I can't help but relish in the fact that the San Antonio Spurs are off to are mediocre 2-4 start with both Tony Parker and the basketball Anti-Christ himself Manu Ginolbi out with injuries. Not to mention my Lakers are 6-0 while beating their opponents by a smooth 20 points a game. 

OK, maybe it's a little early to get my hopes up for a record breaking season by the Lakers, hell even the Atlanta Hawks are 5-0 and the season is a long road with injuries and other obstacles to overcome. Plus my boys looked pretty good last year until the Boston Celtics kicked their teeth in during the Finals. 

But as a fan, I'll choose to ignore all of these minor details. 

Football's Elephant in the Room

As New Orleans Saints football players Deuce McAllister and Will Smith tested positive for steroids this weekend, I couldn't help but notice how little publicity it is getting. You would think two former Pro Bowl caliber players getting caught for performance enhancing drugs would be front page news like it is with baseball. But as I look at Yahoo's NFL home page, there is not one mention of the incident.

Baseball has grown weaker and weaker over the years since suspicions and accusations of home run sluggers like Barry Bonds, Mark McGwire, and Sammy Sosa for taking steroids. But football is stronger than ever, despite evidence than steroids are just as prevalent in football as they are in baseball.

So why does baseball get all of the negative publicity? First, baseball is America's pastime, and with its rich history, all of its records are considered sacred. Breaking records in baseball is almost as big as winning the World Series. Every time a pitcher reaches 300 wins or a slugger hits 500 home runs, it's top news. But in football, records are just a footnote. The media pays attention when football records are broken, but not nearly to the degree as they do in baseball. So when Barry Bonds breaks the all-time home run record on steroids, people are going to be offended.

Also football is big money for everybody, including the media. If SportsCenter starts talking about Shawn Meriman (Pro Bowl linebacker) who tested positive for steroids last year, then maybe Joe Six Pack won't wake up and watch Sunday NFL Countdown for four hours.

In conlusion, steroids are bad for business, just ask baseball who is having record low ratings for the World Series this year.

250-to-1, I Like Those Odds

Greatest investment of all-time; betting on the Tampa Bay Rays to win the World Series. The Rays had 250 to 1 odds in spring training, so one would get $250 for every $ gambled. Now the Rays are a mere 4 wins away from winning the Fall Classic. 

Dave Marger of St. Petersburg was smart enough to take on those odds, and if the Rays win he will receive $25,000 for a $100 bet!

Maybe the Rays weren't a sure fire way to win 25 grand, finishing in dead last in 2007 and almost every year before that. The Rays have never even finished a season over .500, let alone make the playoffs, let alone make the World Series. 

Still, next season I'm putting my money on the Washington Nationals. 

The Red River Shootout

Now, like any lifetime University of Texas sports fan, I'm particularly excited for next Saturday's match up against the vile Oklahoma Sooners. With this being a bitter rivalry and given that both teams are highly ranked. One should expect this to be a game of epic proportions. Right?

Wrong, now this scenario seems to happen every year, both teams come in highly ranked and one dominates the other. Now granted last year was and exception (Oklahoma won 28-21) but that was the only time in the last ten years that the game has been determined by less than 10 points. Over this time OU has beat UT by scores of 63-14, 65-13, 12-0, 35-24, and 14-3. All in convincing fashion. Similarly UT has beat OU by scores of 45-12, 28-10, 34-3, and 38-28. 

Certainly, I will be watching the game next Saturday, and honestly I hope it isn't close and Texas blows out Oklahoma. But if your a neutral observer craving a good game, I wouldn't guarantee that this one will satisfy your hunger.   

Will The Cubs Ever Win?

Oh the Cubbies! The most depressing team in sports. 

You would think that this year would be their year. The best record in the National League, Sweet Lou Pinella as their manager, and if you superstitious this is the 100th anniversary of their last championship. 100 years! 

But no, the poor decrepit Cubbies have been blown out of their first two playoff games and are one game away from elimination. To make things worse, both of the games were at home and against the mediocre Dodgers who barely finished over .500 for the season. 

But there is still hope, and you know Cubbie fan has hope. Hell, just a couple of years ago the Red Sox broke their little championship slump being down 3-0 to the sinister Yankees. 

So anything can happen. But it is the Cubs, the team of infinite sorrow.

Why Is Tennis Dead?

While I was watching U.S. Open (tennis) this week, I was reminded that most people in America don't care about tennis. The U.S. Open is the biggest stage in American tennis and none of the matches sell out. On Saturday, Roger Federer (number 2 in the world) played Novak Djokovic (number 3 in the world) and only about 70% of the arena was filled. We all know tennis's lack of popularity has been going on for years now. But I think the quality of play is high enough now for Americans to get back into tennis.

The reason why nobody in the U.S. really cares about tennis anymore is simple, there are no more really good American players. On the men's side we have two guys in the top ten, Andy Roddick and James Blake. But only Roddick has a grand slam win and that seemed like ages ago. Plus Roddick can never beat Federer and seems to get knocked out of tournaments earlier and earlier. Same goes for Blake. On the women's side we have the great Williams sisters. Who when focuses are in my opinion the two best women's players in the world. But they are just about the only competitive American women and they are not always focused. I will have to say they have been playing great as of late. 

The reason why I think tennis should be more popular is that on the men's side there is a great rivalry forming. Rafael Nadal and Roger Federer played an epic 5 set match in Wimbledon a couple months ago and have met in many previous grand slam finals before that. Federer seemed to have the upper hand on hard courts, while Nadal was the master on clay. But now it seems that Nadal is surpassing Federer on hard courts. Outside of these two Novak Djokovic is another worthy player, who won the Australian Open this year. Even though none of these three are American, they are all sure fun to watch.

Now on the women's side, the Williams sisters are finally emerging again. Also two of the top five players in the world are super sexy babes. Ana Ivanovic (#1) and Maria Sharapova (#5). And we all know that in America, sexy babes are exactly what we are looking for.